Pay it Forward: Literary Memoir

My earliest memories of school in England are bringing home my flash cards to memorize words. I remember my early education as a factory-style model of reading and reciting. I was the quiet, well-behaved, and high-achieving pupil in school; however, I was not challenged, not engaged, and often bored.

Then, I met Mr. Clegg. He was my fourth grade teacher. He was artistic, energetic, and dramatic. When he read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I felt as though I was in the story. When he taught vocabulary, we played games. When he asked us to write journals, he responded with questions and with humor. Mr. Clegg noticed me, the introvert, and made me feel important. My confidence grew exponentially that year because I had a teacher who loved what he was doing and always went the extra mile to make every child in his class feel special. Mr. Clegg helped me to find myself.

In high school, I met Lorraine D. Bowen. She was my English Composition and Literature teacher from Wales. I loved her accent. She gave our class a few major assignments that we worked on all year. This was the first time I really had the opportunity to go deep and to “craft” a paper. She worked with us to brainstorm possible ideas – up until this point all assignments had been stale, mandated topics. Previously, I knew what was expected and how to systematically produce a product. I had an ingrained format in my head, a “standard” template, a strict right and wrong idea of what writing must be. The focus was on the grade not the process. Now, I was forced to take risks with creative themes. She made me feel safe and that was empowering. Miss. Bowen helped me to find my voice.

In grammar school, I had a Religious Education teacher who also taught my English Literature class. We read Watership Down and she led daily group discussions. This was another new experience. I had become accustomed to reading assigned books and taking reading quizzes over the allotted chapters. I knew how to read for the purpose of passing the quiz. Now, I was in an unfamiliar situation. This teacher actually wanted to know what I thought, what I would have done in the same situation, what I predicted might happen. There was more to reading than remembering facts. It changed the way I read. I looked forward to that class all day long. I don’t remember this teacher’s name but I am thankful to her. She helped me discover the joy of reading.

After years of working with not-for-profit organizations, I decided to go back to school and earn a teaching degree. As a college freshman I felt intimidated at first and unsure what some of my professors were asking for. I swallowed my pride and went to The Writing Center. My own school experiences had led me to erroneously believe that this service was for remediation, and I braced myself for harsh criticism – almost too embarrassed to bring my research paper. I had visions of a retired teacher like the frustrated teacher grading theme papers in A Christmas Story. In stark contrast, I was greeted warmly by a young college student. The writing consultant was supportive, encouraging, and interested in my work. He didn’t “grade” my paper; rather, he helped me to articulate my ideas and to organize my thoughts. My experience in The Writing Center was therapeutic and affirming. The notion of writing as a solitary task had thwarted my development for years. Throughout my years at IPFW, The Writing Center helped me to gain a deeper appreciation for the theories and practices of developing writing through conversation and through conference.

I recently read Penny Kittle’s Write Beside Them. This book and CD spoke to my heart. I had been feeling overwhelmed with so many teaching responsibilities. Moreover, I was feeling like a fraud. I was assigning journals, short writing project, and research papers. I was reading journals, short writing project, and research papers. I was commenting on ways to improve writing…but I did not feel like a writer. My time was being consumed with my many obligations and I needed to change something. Penny Kittle’s book forced me to rethink how I wanted to teach writing. I challenged myself to become the writer that I challenged my students to be. I wanted to “walk the talk” and to be authentic. I started by creating this blog - “Writers Rock.” I began to post my writing on the blog and I invited my writing tutors in WCHS: The Writing Center to read and leave comments. I then expanded this idea and each writing tutor created their own unique blog – in turn, they told their friends and together we started an international blog movement! I have found the joy of writing again through this simple format. I have modeled vulnerability and I have modeled giving and receiving constructive feedback. I also passed on Write Beside Them to a colleague. This shift in “making” time to write instead of complaining that I don’t “have” time to write has sharpened my powers of observation again, given new purpose to watching the news, added meaning to everyday chores – I’m always looking for my next blog topic.

As I think back over my past experiences with reading and writing, I see that the attitude of the teacher, their chosen approaches, and their generous spirits has deeply affected my approach to teaching reading and writing. I am acutely aware that relationship building is critical. I understand that I must not only make a connection with the student who exhibits behavioral issues and challenges my classroom management skills, I must also notice and connect with the quiet student who is flying under the radar. I want my students to want to be here. I want to create a classroom environment where they are welcome, accepted, expected and encouraged to be all that they can be. I want to establish mutual respect and to earn their trust so that they will “risk” when writing and allow themselves to be vulnerable without fear of judgment or harsh criticism. I want my students to “catch” my enthusiasm for reading and writing. As an educator, I want my students to see themselves as readers and writers. I want to change the culture and make it ‘cool’ to be a writer in high school. And just as I have had the privilege of influencing these young people, I hope that one day they will reflect and remember the English teacher with the foreign accent who believed in them. I hope that they will pay it forward and preach the message to the next generation – Readers & Writers Rock!